For fans of gaming and porn alike, sex games can combine your two favorite pleasures into one and make for an awesome experience. You get to play a game and masturbate at the same time?
Sounds like a dream to some people.
While there are good sex games with storylines you can follow, there are also incredibly terrible games out there.
Here are seven of those games that only make me think, “Who the hell would play this?”
1. Pokemon GO-GO
Yup. A Pokemon-themed sex game.
This game is an attempt at a sexy version of the hit mobile-friendly Pokemon Go app where you actively search around your location for Pokemon to catch.
With this game, though, you have to find Pokemon in a…Go-Go strip club?
Apparently, they like to go to the club to play with the Go-Go Girls, but they pester visitors. The aim of the game is to kill off all the Pokemon, and once you’ve killed 5, the show will get more intense as you play.
2. Kim Arsedashian
You can probably guess what this game is about.
Here, you get to play the role of a paparazzi to spy on none other than the LA starlet herself, Kim Kardashian! This is obviously a play on her infamous sex tape with R&B singer Ray-J that arguably rose her to fame.
The mission of this game, though, is for you to capture as many naughty photos of her doing dirty things with men on her private yacht.
No one who respects themselves would want to work for TMZ, much less in a virtual world. Besides, why would you want to play a game where you’re spying on someone having sex when you can be the one having sex in a different game?
3. Demon in the City
You’re not even a human in this game. This takes fantasy porn to a whole new level.
The object of this game is to fuck as many girls as possible on the game’s map where you are visiting as a green octopus-looking demon. The game even warns you to choose weak women only and not to approach women who may be stronger than you.
4. The Sexpsons
Yes, this exactly what you think it is.
A sex-parody of the show The Simpsons.
You play from the point of view of Dart (a.k.a Bart), who followed in his father’s footsteps of becoming a drunk, lazy shit with a beer-gut. Your mission in the game is to find and have sex with all the girls you can and have fun.
5. Game of Whores
It’s not surprising that they created a sex-parody version of this show given the number of sex scenes within it.
In this parody, the object of the game is to slay as many enemies, including dragons, queens, and traitors, to become the King of Whoresteros.
6. Harry Potter or Just Alpha Male
Harry is not only a wizard but apparently a virgin, too.
At 25 years old, you must help Harry get laid by using his magic skills and solving other tasks throughout the game.
7. Princess Peach and Rosalina Boobjob
I’d suggest not to play this game if you still want to keep your childhood memories intact.
Here, Princess Peach and Rosalina from the Mario games get boob jobs and let you play with them and cum all over them.